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Zuckerberg Simply Had the Most Humiliating Day of His Life, However His Hair Appeared Nice

In 2018, Mark Zuckerberg waltzed into the halls of Congress for essentially the most high-profile second of his profession. He was pale and glass-eyed, his tie wrapped loosely round his neck, and his hair cropped excessive and skinny in a weird homage to Augustus Caesar. His speech was practiced and robotic, and whereas his efficiency made him out to be a freak within the eyes of the general public, the listening to was a victory. Zuckerberg’s empire was on the peak of its energy, and he demonstrated the federal government may interact with even the essential questions concerning the web. At the moment, Zuckerberg is a distinct man. He has hobbies and a household—he’s even rising his hair out. The CEO appears virtually… human? However at a contemporary listening to on Wednesday, he realized that nearly human isn’t sufficient. At the moment, Zuckerberg had essentially the most humiliating expertise of his public life.

Zuckerberg went earlier than Congress for a brutal, hours-long listening to about youngster security on-line, joined by fellow tech leaders together with X/Twitter’s Linda Yaccarino, TikTok’s Shou Chew, Snap’s Evan Spiegel, and Discord’s Jason Citron. The naive Senate that after struggled to know how Fb makes cash is gone, and because the listening to wore on, the nation’s high politicians dragged Zuckerberg neck deep into the muck.

Sen. Marsha Blackburn informed Zuckerberg “It seems that [Meta] is making an attempt to be the premiere intercourse trafficking website on this nation.” (The CEO known as this “ridiculous.”) Sen. Lindsey Graham all however known as him a assassin, saying ”You could have a product that’s killing folks.” However essentially the most impactful second by far got here throughout questions from Sen. Josh Hawley, who drew standing ovations from the viewers as he berated Meta’s chief govt.

“There’s households of victims right here right this moment. Have you ever apologized?” Hawley requested as he interrupted Zuckerberg’s faltering makes an attempt at self-defense. “Would you want to take action now? They’re right here, you’re on nationwide tv, would you want now to apologize to the victims? Present him the images.”

Sitting behind the panel of CEOs had been mother and father and relations of social media’s youngest victims. Some stood up and glared at Zuckerberg, holding photographs of kids who died of suicide and drug overdoses, allegedly after interactions on Instagram, Fb, and different tech platforms.

Zuckerberg hesitated, turning his head to have a look at the folks gathered within the viewers. “I’m sorry,” he stated, standing to face them, his voice trailing to a whisper as he spoke off the microphones. “It’s horrible. Nobody ought to need to undergo the issues that your households have suffered and this is the reason we make investments a lot and we’re going to proceed doing industry-wide efforts to verify nobody has to undergo the issues your households have needed to endure.”

The person is among the many richest and most profitable folks on Earth. Zuckerberg’s initiatives have attracted billions of customers, untold riches, and a stage of affect as soon as reserved for presidents and kings. However he’s by no means obtained the adoration showered on a lot of his tech chief friends, and his place in historical past is tarnished in a means that’s virtually actually everlasting.

However on the similar time, Zuckerberg has additionally by no means loved as a lot goodwill as he does right this moment (although, in fact, he set the bar low). Final 12 months, a public spat with Elon Musk in 2023 noticed the web making memes in assist of Zuckerberg en masse, maybe for the very first time. Not solely is his public picture at an all-time excessive, he’s had a bodily glow-up as properly. His enterprise into combined martial arts has him in peak bodily situation, his fits match higher—after which there’s his new haircut. Based on Max Zeff, breaking information reporter and resident fashion skilled at Gizmodo, Zuck’s hair appears “higher than ever.”

All that received’t save Zuckerberg from the results of 20 years of knowledge heists, genocide, hate speech, misinformation, terrorism, harms to children, and numerous different issues. The world might lastly be able to cope with the crises he’s left in his wake. If nothing else, senators are going to yell at him about it.

If nothing else, Zuck may have his new stunning hair to maintain him firm, and that’s one thing to have a good time. Click on by way of the slideshow up high to see 10 dashing pics of the billionaire’s new ‘do, or simply scroll down in the event you’re on a cellular system.

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